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Hostile-aggressive People

Benefits of dealing with aggression

You will likely face hostile-aggressive behavior at work. You may think ignoring it is a viable option, but this is unrealistic. Also, dealing with hostile-aggressive behavior provides benefits you'll want to take advantage of:

• increased productivity – Dealing effectively with hostile-aggressive people helps you reduce the stress caused by their bad behavior. And a less stressful work environment facilitates improved health and increased workplace productivity.
• improved self-esteem – Improved self-esteem is another possible benefit. Suppose you interpret a hostile-aggressive person's behavior as a personal attack – this can be damaging to your self-esteem. Learning to effectively handle hostile-aggressive behavior will reduce its damaging effects, plus you'll feel a sense of accomplishment.
• a regained sense of control – It can be hard to deal with hostile-aggressive behavior calmly. You may find yourself losing control or feeling like you've lost control. Knowing how to deal with hostile-aggressive behavior can help you regain your sense of control. This will allow you to avoid being drawn into the negative behavior, so you're part of the solution and not part of the problem.

Hostile-aggressive behavior

Hostile-aggressive individuals are bullies and controllers. Their general method of operation is to look strong by making others look weak. It's not unusual for them to yell during exchanges with others, and they tend to be offensive, belligerent, and bad listeners. And they typically have a resentful attitude.

People with hostile-aggressive personalities are sometimes classified as two types: the verbal assailant and the hothead:

• verbal assailants – Verbal assailants tend to attack with words. They come across as openly abusive and tend to be abrupt, intimidating, and overwhelming. They attack at the personal level and generally pick an aspect of an individual's behavior or personality to fuel the attack.
• hotheads – Hotheads are prone to sudden outbursts of anger and rage, even when everything seems to be going well. A hothead's anger tends to be triggered when the individual perceives a physical or psychological threat. The hothead's anger is likely to be followed by fear and suspicion.

Handling hostile-aggressive behavior

Understanding why a person acts in a hostile-aggressive manner can help you effectively handle this behavior. Where does hostile-aggressive behavior come from? It's a learned behavior. Hostile-aggressive behavior is a form of control. Individuals who interact in a hostile-aggressive way have learned that by being difficult, they get what they want. Even though they come across as strong and confident, often the reality is that they're frightened and insecure. Acting with hostility and aggression is how these individuals achieve a feeling of safety, power, and control.

There's a seven-step process that can help you handle hostile-aggressive behavior:

1. distancing yourself – Distance yourself by depersonalizing the situation. Remember that the person is probably reacting to an issue or a culmination of issues that actually have nothing to do with you, so it's best that you don't take it personally. It also helps to stay neutral and remain calm.
2. assessing the situation – Don't interrupt and don't respond until you have both calmed down. Interjecting while either of you is upset can make things worse. Also, if you're reacting, you're not listening. You may misunderstand and prolong the incident.
3. thinking about how you'll respond – This helps ensure you respond in the most effective way. When the person is done venting and you can respond.
4. assuring the other party you're listening – Once the person has finished venting, give assurance that you're listening by summarizing what you've understood the person to say.
5. discussing the problem further – Now that you have achieved understanding, politely offer to discuss the problem further.
6. offering your point of view – explain how you feel but give the other person an opportunity to reflect, gather thoughts, and return to the discussion if necessary.
7. monitoring your success – Following a hostile-aggressive encounter, you should take the time to evaluate how well your approach worked. Learn from your successes as well as your mistakes and use this information in future dealings with hostile-aggressive coworkers.

Hostile-aggressive behavior has a negative impact on the work environment. It can't be eliminated, but learning to effectively deal with hostile-aggressive people can minimize the negative impact of their behavior.

Working with hostile-aggressive coworkers is one of the most challenging tests of your interpersonal abilities. Hostile-aggressive individuals are bullies and controllers and tend to be pushy, angry, and resentful. They rely on hostile-aggressive behavior to get what they want and don't see anything wrong with their behavior.

You can use a seven-step process to deal with hostile-aggressive behavior. The steps are distancing yourself, assessing the situation, thinking about how you'll respond, assuring the other party you're listening, discussing the problem further, offering your point of view, and monitoring your success.